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Confessions of a Long Engagement Bride

March 17, 2010

I have a confession to make.  I haven’t been that into planning my wedding as of late.  Cue Debbie Downer noise:

Maybe it has to do with the fact that we’ve already been engaged for 13 months and I just want to the wedding to be here already, or maybe it’s that finals/graduation are coming up and wedding stuff seems trivial, or maybe it’s because Mr. Jelly just got back from a deployment and I’m realizing that spending time with him is more important.  Or maybe, on top of all that,  I’ve just come to the conclusion that wedding planning isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Let me explain.  When you first get engaged, you’re all excited and everyone is excited for you.  You surround yourself with wedding magazines and books, watch every wedding show on TV and scour the wedding blogs for inspiration.  That was exciting for the first 6-8 months.  But now, to be honest, it’s getting old.  Maybe I’m just burnt out on wedding stuff, but lately I’m finding myself less than enthused on the wedding details.  My solution to this problem?  Put the wedding stuff aside and ignore it for a while.  This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way, and each time, the wedding bug comes back and bites me again. Sometimes we all just need a little break.

Don’t get me wrong; I am still very excited about getting married and celebrating our union with family and friends, but I think I’m more excited about the marrying-and-getting-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-my-best-friend part than the wedding planning part.  Yes, wedding planning can be a lot of fun, and it can be a great way to explore your creative side.  But what no one tells you is it can be very stressful too, especially if you are the indecisive sort like me.  There are just so many decisions to make, and the wedding industry makes you feel like every single decision is the most important decision of your life.  Granted some brides manage to stay calm and collected and not stress over the little things, but I am just not that girl.  Another thing is the money.  Everything wedding related is just so darn expensive.  It kills me to think about how much weddings cost, especially in the Bay Area.

I don’t mean this post to come off as Debbie Downer or anything. I just want to break that stereotype that once you’re engaged you float around in a blissful state, impervious to life’s difficulties. (Maybe there isn’t that stereotype?)  Because life doesn’t suddenly ease up for you to to have the time to meet with vendors and work on DIY projects. You simply add those items to the already massive list of things you need to do, and move on with your life. And try to enjoy it. But if you find yourself not enjoying it sometimes – just know that’s normal, too.

And just because I do love SNL’s Debbie Downer, I’ll leave you with this:

Has anyone else hit a lull in their wedding planning?

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